4dp5dt

I was feeling hopeful about this FET until this week turned into a complete disaster.

Wednesday night I fell asleep early and woke up nauseous, dizzy, confused and numb all over.  Thinking I was having a bad reaction to one of my meds, I went to the ER. 6 hours and 10 vials of blood later, nothing was wrong with me.  I still don’t know what happened, although my husband thinks it was a panic attack.  With the state my body was in, I can’t imagine it was good for my embryos.

Thursday afternoon I was going through my work bag and found a Ziploc bag with 2 little blue pills in it, meaning I completely forgot to take my Estrace at some point this week.  That can’t have been good for my lining.  I honestly would be shocked if that didn’t ruin the whole cycle.

Today is 4dp5dt and I am having period-like cramping. I know some say it is a good sign, but I have technically been pregnant 4 times before this and with none of those BFP’s did I get this type of cramping.  I normally get some very distinct poking feelings in my stomach, which are totally absent this time. I really want to test and get the disappointment over with, but I’m not in the mood to play the “is it a line?” game today.

Originally I was going to hold off until beta day to test, but I’m now thinking I’ll test on 7dp5dt. I know a BFN at that point isn’t going to change, and I’m working from home that day so I can take the day to cry and feel sorry for myself without having to put a smile on for anyone.

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