Viability!

Today I am 24 weeks pregnant which marks the official start of viability for my baby.  This is a day I have been waiting for, for a long time.  I am not naive enough to believe that I could give birth tomorrow and be guaranteed a perfect healthy baby.  Realistically I know the statistics of survival are about 50/50 at this point. However, I no longer feel like I am out in open water by myself.  If god forbid something happens from here out, doctors will now take measures to keep me pregnant and save my baby and that in itself gives me great comfort.

I am breaking down pregnancy into milestones, obviously the first was this big one at 24 weeks.  The next milestone I am counting down to is 28 weeks.  This will help me feel like getting towards the end really is achievable, and that I can get there. There are a million worries that are starting to set in but for this moment I am trying to enjoy this day.

My pregnancy is reaching the point where I feel like I need to start getting some things done to prepare.  I took a leap of faith last weekend and ordered the nursery furniture.  And since I am mentally feeling good today, we are going to start our registry.  I do not intend to have a baby shower, but I know our parents will appreciate having a registry to work off of as they are hoping to purchase a few gifts.

When I tell people I don’t want a shower, they act like I am crazy, and I have a hard time explaining to them why I don’t want one.  I guess there are a few reasons.  One, it feels like I am jinxing things in some way. The thought of celebrating a baby that still has to make it here safely gives me anxiety.  Two, through three years of infertility, baby showers caused me a great deal of pain.  I never know who else might be silently suffering and I would hate to inadvertently impart that pain on anyone else.

As for the road ahead – I have a growth scan in 4 weeks, then I will have appointments every 2-4 weeks after that.  I can’t believe I am a few weeks away from the 3rd trimester.  In many ways this pregnancy has crawled by, but at the same time it feels like it has flown too.

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9 thoughts on “Viability!

  1. Congratulations on reaching viability 🙂 it is just 1 more milestone to tick off! You don’t have to have a shower, but after bub is here, you can have a ‘sip and see’, where people can come and see the new baby, have afternoon tea etc. Hopefully everything continues along smoothly 🙂

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  2. Congratulations! I passed this a few weeks ago and I can remember how it felt. It is finally starting to feel real!

    Re the baby shower, I have mixed feelings. I understand how much they hurt when I was infertile, but that said, I still went (and even hosted). I believe that we should feel okay to celebrate our pregnancies, because we have struggled to get here. I’m having a baby shower but it’s combined with some other celebrations so it’s not only a baby shower. More of a me party! And my best friend who lives overseas is hosting, so that means a lot.

    I guess I just feel like I will never have another chance to have one, and most of my close friends who are coming are aware of how hard it’s been to get here. Also I have been really clear there is NO obligation and I also understand why some people might not want to come. I would like to think I am not hurting anyone by having it, and all my friends seem genuinely happy for me. I’m sure your friends would be, too. X

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    • Great advice on the baby shower. You definitely deserve to celebrate you! I’m considering alternative options such as a sip and see, as suggested by another poster. Hopefully I won’t have any regrets!

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      • Sip and see sounds great! We have baby showers over here now (but by no means universal) but I’ve never been invited to a sip and see. I think that will probably come. Just like everything else from America!

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  3. I purposely looked in here today as I remembered this was your week of viability (my best friend is only a couple days behind you, and we’re counting down the days for her!) — congratulations! This is probably the biggest milestone to hit 🙂 I am very happy to see you and baby are doing well.

    I never had a shower either. I, too, felt it was a jinx and I could not handle that… I also felt that as I had been blessed to be pregnant that was a gift enough, and asking for gifts after receiving this miracle was selfish (may be silly but that’s how I felt!)

    However, at 30w without my knowledge, my best friend organized a lunch at my sister in law’s house with 10 other family members and very close friends. And though they did not bring me gifts, they each brought a special book/onesie/blanket because they wanted to share one gift from each of them. It was very sweet and I am grateful now they did that, because it was a gesture of love 🙂 I am glad you are open to your parents buying a gift or two– it’s a nice way for them to feel some joy too.

    I’ll check in again at your next milestone– 3rd trimester!

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    • You are so sweet, thank you so much! What you said about feeling fortunate enough to be pregnant is also how I feel. How wonderful of your family and friends to celebrate your baby in such a special way. ❤

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